Robin Williams Death

Normally this site only covers horror related things. But this is one of those rare moments in life when I felt I needed to break the rules. (ok that was a lie. I break the rules all the damn time.) I need to talk about the death of Robin Williams.

Robin Williams was one of the best comedians...EVER. He was in many aspects the best. For example...no one was better than Robin at Improv. No one seemed to have more manic energy that could be channeled so perfectly. He was like a lightning rod of pure comedy.

I was an awkward kid growing up. I didn't know how to relate with or interact with others so I became a class clown. The normal me was an anti-social, recluse weirdo with odd quirks and a host of other defects. The Class Clown version of me wasn't perfect, but compared to the real me...he was a rock star. Getting laughs became my drug...and I needed a fix constantly.

No matter what anyone tells you...funny people are funny as a defense mechanism. It's a shield. It's an ice breaker. It's a tactic. More than anything being funny is a comedians catharsis. it's his or her linus blanket, a comfortable protective barrier from true emotional interaction.

When Robin Williams chose to commit suicide on 8/11/14 it felt like a punch to my gut. I wasn't ready or able to process it. I still can't really....even though I know comedians are truly dark, sad, damaged people it is still hard for me to imagine a depressed Robin Williams. A suicidal Robin Williams. A Robin Williams who could hang himself by his belt...and end his own life.

But I'm trying to process it. This blog entry is me trying to vomit up my true feelings about his death. I hate the subject. I hate the concept of a dead Robin Williams. It feels like trying to swallow a brick. It just isn't possible to wrap my head around this concept. So I won't. We may never fully understand what Robin Williams was going through. Even though I can relate to his depression and his comedy and his bipolar (I also have bipolar) it feels like I can only relate to the tip of the iceberg that was Robin Williams and what he must have been going through to make this terrible fateful decision.

Anyways. I loved Robin. His stand up comedy was one of the biggest influences on my young goals of wanting to do stand up myself. For many years "stand up comic" was my dream job and the job I wished I could do. I even went as far as to perform in roughly 6 different open mic nights at comedy clubs, I've attended numerous stand up shows, and I auditioned for last comic standing.

Stand up comedy is no longer my career path, but it will always hold a special place in my heart and it will always be my dream job. Robin Williams brilliant stand up was one of my greatest influences and he was a big reason why I wanted to pursue a career in comedy. If I had to list stand up comics who have influenced me most and inspired me most Robin Williams would easily make my top 3.

Robin Williams had a variety of awesome performances in his films. To name a few he did great as a creep in "One hour Photo" and "Insomnia". He was hilarious in "Ms. Doubtfire", "Alladin", "Jumanji". Dramatic turns in "Dead Poets Society" and "Good Will Hunting" were epic in their brilliance. I could go on. But here is the bottom line:

Robin Williams comedic gifts were loved by millions. He will be sorely missed. R.I.P. Robin. I'll miss you, pal.